Have you ever felt anxious or unsure about your place in a relationship? Do you constantly worry about whether others truly care for you? These feelings may be more than just passing thoughts. You could be experiencing what’s known as anxious attachment style.
At Renewal Oasis Behavioral Health in Palm Desert, CA, we specialize in helping people identify and heal emotional patterns that affect their well-being. This article explores what anxious attachment style is, how it forms, its impact on adult life, and most importantly, how to heal from it.
What Is Anxious Attachment Style?
Anxious attachment is one of four primary attachment styles that shape how people connect emotionally. It develops in early childhood, often when caregivers are inconsistent in providing emotional support. As adults, individuals with this style crave intimacy but struggle with insecurity and fear of abandonment.
They may: Seek constant reassurance, feel overly sensitive to emotional distance, or experience emotional highs and lows in close relationships.
This attachment style can affect romantic partnerships, friendships, and even professional dynamics.
Types of Anxious Attachment
An anxious attachment style can present in more than one form:
Preoccupied Attachment
This type leads individuals to base their self-worth on how others treat them. They’re often overly focused on gaining external approval.
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment
This version combines anxious and avoidant tendencies. People desire closeness but pull away due to the fear of getting hurt.
Both forms create emotional turbulence and can interfere with forming secure, long-term relationships.
What Causes Anxious Attachment Style?
The root of anxious attachment often lies in childhood experiences. When children receive mixed signals from caregivers, they learn to be hyper-vigilant in relationships.
Other contributing factors include emotional neglect or abandonment, exposure to parental mental illness or substance use, overprotective or invasive parenting, and traumatic or unstable early environments
These conditions teach the brain to perceive connection as unpredictable, fostering anxiety in later bonds.
Symptoms of Anxious Attachment Style in Adults
People with anxious attachment often experience the fear of being abandoned or rejected, the need for constant validation, overanalyzing communication (e.g., texts, tone of voice), discomfort being alone, emotional dependency, and jealousy or fear of being replaced
These symptoms can undermine confidence and lead to exhausting relationship cycles.
Anxious Attachment Style in Relationships
In romantic contexts, anxious attachment often surfaces through clinginess or emotional overdependence, difficulty trusting even when things seem stable, misreading neutral cues as signs of rejection, and emotional outbursts when feeling ignored
Left untreated, these patterns can push others away and reinforce feelings of insecurity.
However, attachment styles can change with intentional healing.
How to Fix Anxious Attachment Style
Healing anxious attachment involves building new emotional habits and working through past wounds.
1. Therapy
Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are especially helpful. A licensed therapist can guide you through identifying and reshaping emotional responses.
2. Self-Awareness
Mindfulness, journaling, and emotional check-ins help you recognize triggers and break the cycle of reactive thinking.
3. Boundaries
Learning to set and respect boundaries builds internal safety and reduces emotional volatility.
4. Healthy Relationships
Surrounding yourself with emotionally reliable people allows your nervous system to recalibrate and feel safe.
Tip: You can also explore our mental health treatment programs for additional support.
Frequently Asked Questions
What triggers anxious attachment?
Anxious attachment is often triggered by perceived signs of emotional withdrawal or rejection. This could be a delayed text, a change in tone, or physical distance from someone important.
Can anxious attachment be cured?
While it may not be “cured” in the traditional sense, anxious attachment can be healed. With therapy and self-awareness, individuals can learn to build secure relationships and regulate emotional responses.
Is anxious attachment the same as being needy?
Not exactly. While anxious attachment may involve intense emotional needs, it’s rooted in early relational patterns, not personality flaws. The goal is to understand and rewire those patterns.
How can I support a partner with anxious attachment?
Offer consistent reassurance, set healthy boundaries, and encourage your partner to seek therapy. Patience and open communication are key.
Contact Renewal Oasis in Palm Desert, CA to Start Treatment
Struggling with anxious attachment doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re ready to heal. At Renewal Oasis Behavioral Health, we offer: – Personalized treatment plans – Residential and outpatient programs – A peaceful, therapeutic setting in Palm Desert, CA
Our compassionate clinicians specialize in helping clients rebuild emotional safety and develop secure attachments.
☎️ Call (760) 334‑9359 or verify your insurance today. Let’s take the next step together.
Sources
- Çarıkçı‑Özgül & Işık (2024) – Examined how intolerance of uncertainty and social support mediate the relationship between anxious attachment and anxiety in young adults, demonstrating key emotional triggers and protective factors. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-024-05659-5 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02724316231181876
- BMC Psychology (2024) – Investigated emotion regulation strategies across different attachment styles, finding that individuals with anxious attachment struggle with emotional suppression but can use cognitive reappraisal to reduce distress. https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-024-01748-z
